Elegant, effervescent, exuberant, 18! Its senior year and Miss Mansi is so eager and enthusiastic about college, applying to schools near and far, standing tall, ready to embrace life while I am a worried mess, nervous already that she may fly the nest next fall. The years are passing by in the blink of an eye, and for some reason it makes me cry. I am so proud of the brilliant and beautiful young lady she is today but memories of her as a little girl never go away.
Lately, Mansi has been reading a lot on Psychology, her interest piqued after taking an AP course on it and reading voraciously on this subject this summer. She is so fascinated by the study of human nature that her original love of Quantum Physics has taken a back seat. Her dad and I were talking about how many more scholarships are available for girls in science and technology and she is in a magnet STEM program and gets those subjects and makes good grades in them but we also know in our hearts that we do not want to be stereotypical Indian parents wanting our children to be doctors and engineers.
It amazes me how someone as sweet as her can also be so stubborn. I constantly butt heads with her when she asks me to look over her college essays, she wants my opinion but then refuses to take most of my suggestions! I am grateful she asks me to read as I am learning so much about her , what she thinks of herself and what she wants to do with her life. It was so difficult for her to write those personal statements for applications as she does not like opening up and talking about herself but colleges want to know and I am so very proud of her for finally writing so beautifully about her authentic self. She is an amazing writer but she will not let me share her writing on Facebook. She is so private, she has a blog on tumblr with a pen name theorizing on her favorite Japanese manga series and it gets quite a few comments and likes.
She also keeps imparting me with little nuggets of wisdom in her usual matter of fact way. The other day, we decided to go for dinner on our way from an evening walk at the lake. When everyone decided on a somewhat fancy restaurant I suggested we could go to a casual place as we were not formally dressed. I had no makeup on and my hair was a wiry frizzy mess. Mansi told me that it doesn’t matter, we were fine as we were and then she said, “Mom, I think you suffer from the spotlight effect.” “What does that mean?” I asked. She went on to tell me that suffering from the spotlight effect means that you think everybody is noticing you but in reality very few people are. In short, I am not a celebrity! She also said that when people are so focused on themselves and are acutely aware of their appearance, they think everybody else is equally focused on them but they are not. Her observation stumped me and really made me think. Maybe she is right. I also admire her for not seeking attention, she does not feel the need to take selfies, and she is not on Facebook or Instagram.
She is our first born , our only girl, our pampered princess and yet she is very grounded and never demanding. She exudes a quiet strength, never affected by peer pressure, she is a great big sister to Arjun and Armaan. Armaan is her boo, her baby, her sidekick and her minion, its really cute to see them cuddle together.
Right now I can hear her laugh as she is hanging out with her friends at home and it is the sweetest sound, I always love to hear the children laugh, each has their own distinctive laughter. Very soon she will cut her favorite carrot cake made by Arjun. As she blows out her birthday candles and makes some wishes , I hope all of those come true. I love her so much.